The Fear of losing control
The need to stay on top of “everything” and manage the circumstances and people around us is often rooted in the deep-seated fear of losing control. This fear can lead to a vicious cycle, causing us to believe that hypervigilance, micromanaging, and even obsessive behaviors are the only way to maintain some sense of power and control when, in actuality, it is fear and anxiety that control our lives.As the to-do lists get longer and the periods of unscheduled time shorter, a sense of uneasiness creeps in. Somehow, no matter how hard we try, the mountain of unfinished tasks and obligations seems to grow only larger, increasingly overshadowing our lives. Our initial frustration, the result of not being able make headway, inevitably turns into stress, anxiety, and a sense of being overwhelmed. Then everything becomes too much and too difficult to handle, and we don’t know where to begin or what to do. From this point, we’re just a hop, skip, and a jump away from feeling out of control. We interpret small mishaps and incidences, such as spilling a glass of milk, misplacing a bill, or being cut off in traffic, as personal attacks by life or the universe that push us over the edge into the abyss of despair and powerlessness. Our lives appear more and more overwhelming and unmanageable as we perceive an increasing number of situations and people as unsafe and, therefore, something we must avoid.
Another challenging aspect of the fear of losing control is that it can bring up resistance to change. Change usually entails leaving our comfort zone, which is why we perceive it as a somewhat uncomfortable risk. In contrast to a healthy comfort zone, the boundaries of an anxiety- and control-driven one tend to become rigid walls. And the longer we stay in that constricted zone, the more we avoid and resist leaving it, even if we aren’t at all comfortable in it anymore.
Why letting go of fear and anxiety isn’t enough
In general to permanently overcome and heal fear and anxiety it takes more than just letting go of these emotions from your conscious and subconscious mind. If you have been dealing with fear and anxiety for quite some time chances are that they have become a part of your identity. The moment you refer to yourself as an anxious person or a worrier, you know that you’ve started to identify yourself with these emotions. Anxiety becomes your emotional default setting, gradually restricting our choices and actions.
You probably know people who fell into a depression after they graduated, retired, or saw their kids leave for college. These people had been focusing so predominantly on one aspect of their lives that when their identity as a student, professional, or parental provider was “lost,” they felt completely lost. You can argue that by letting go of fear and anxiety you retire from an old identity, you could be facing a similar kind of crisis. We all need a sense of self, an inner foundation to stand on and to move forward from. Without this foundation, we feel ungrounded.
Dr. Schaub’s breakthrough program provides you with a step-by-step process, which allows you to first identify, address and resolve the subconscious root causes of your fears and anxieties and then establish and solidify a strong foundation of confidence and inner peace. By working consciously with your subconscious mind, you can choose who and how you want to be once you have outgrown your fearfully controlling identity.